My review of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I was able to go see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra this past Friday, I wanted to go see it on opening night but I didn’t have any money to pay the $10 for the ticket D:<

Anyway, this is a fresh adaptation of the old cartoon/comic, and even though the story has some mayor differences I didn’t like it’s still pretty enjoyable, in fact it’s like watching a 2-hour episode.

One thing I can say right away is that the movie delivers, I thought they had shown all the action sequences in the trailer but I’m glad it wasn’t the case.

This short review may contain spoilers so read it at your own discretion.

I’m amazed at the number of people who died in this movie, in the old cartoon series nobody ever died, it’s actually more realistic that way since there’s no war without casualties, so it makes sense.

Now into the story. I like the story for the most part, however one thing didn’t make sense no matter how I rolled it around. [spoiler]The Baroness is American and Duke’s ex-fiance.[/spoiler] With that said, she didn’t have the accent I expected.

Also, I always thought Destro was black, at least in the American dubbing, in the Spanish dubbing he would sound European. In my opinion Arnold Vosloo should have played as Destro instead of Christopher Eccleston, just look as his head for crying out loud, lol.

Arnold Vosloo plays as Zartan, for some reason I thought he would transform into sand and swallow the joe’s base in the desert, that would’ve been epic, too bad it’s the wrong movie xD.

Speaking of the Mummy, Brendan Fraser makes an uncredited appearance as Sergeant Stone, for a moment there I thought he was supposed to be Flint, but the name is not the same.

The film opens in France, in 1641. The Scotsman Klan McCullen has been accused of selling weaponry to both the Scots and French, instead of beheading him the jury decides to brand his face with a metal mask that had just come out of the oven, literally, the mask was still red when they put it on O_O….

In the near future, James McCullen, a weapon’s expert, has developed a weapon that can destroy an entire city. He sells 4 warheads to NATO and the US Army is entrusted with taking them to the drop point. However the Baroness has different plans and tries to steal them from the army. We have a chance to see their version of the Cobra Vipers, in the old cartoon series they were robots, here they are brainwashed humans using nanobots, they feel no pain, they have totally lost their conscience and are hard to kill (at least for the time being 😉 )

The warheads get weaponized and used for the first time in Paris, where they pretty much destroy Eiffel Tower, I gotta say that scene was epic >:3, in fact that whole section was really good, it involved the suits we see on the trailers, plus Snake Eyes being all ninja-like 😀

As I said at the beginning there were a couple of things that didn’t make much sense, the first one being the one in the first spoiler, and the second one, [spoiler]the “doctor” in charge of the creation of the Vipers was not Doctor Mindbender, in reality he is Rex, Duke’s friend the Baroness’ brother O_o[/spoiler]

Aside from that it was pretty good, the fights between Snow Shadow and Snake Eyes were great, way better than I expected.

At the end the Joe’s save the day, we see Cobra Commander’s mask, it’s pretty much the gray mask he wore in the animated series when DIC took over and Cobra Commander was transformed back from a giant snake to human.

At the end [spoiler]McCullen gets his whole head burned and Rex injects him nano-mites, which encase the damage skin, pretty much the whole head, in silver, and then Rex assumes the identity of Cobra Commander before getting captured.[/spoiler]

The actions sequences were great, the special effects were awesome for the most part, and the cast was great, Marlon Wayans did a great job, it actually felt like GIJOE, unlike Transformers D:<……

I hope there is a sequel, [spoiler]Zartan replaced the president of the United States and the movie ends with him in the White House.[/spoiler]

There is room for more so I really hope they come up with a second one, who knows, we might get to see Serpentor 😀

My final verdict is that you should see it if you can while it’s still on theaters, otherwise rent it or something, if you like GIJoe you will like this, it’s not perfect but what movie adaptation is?