Destroying our language

So, this is a new column I’ve been meaning to start, and possibly keep updating every week or so. Anyway, so I know a guy, who pretty much has crapped on both the english and spanish language. Is not just his grammar alone (spanglish, the mixture of both) he really just talks the way he writes. It’s hilariously retarded sometimes. I mean, I’m no english language master, but at least my grammar is understanding. He updates his status on Facebook regularly, so there’s always material there. (Unless he discovers this place and decides to beat me up >_>)
So to give you a taste of what you’ll encounter:

“I agree with Lasilva and Chavez and realy hope our precident in el salvador can take out la dolarizacion in our paiz.. or at list try to get it out… pero i like el gabinete que empeso a elejir..”
Yes, he’s pretending to talk about politics. Be afraid…
More after the break (oh God!)

So basically this is how it works, I will post a quote, dissect it, and then try to make sense out of it O_O
“Quiro ir a la playa.. for a week.. ringt na na na.. hoo yea 2day can’t go out sorry can’t go lima 2night is my dad b day, cool my rruco is a cool old man..”
-I want to go to the beach..for a week.. yea today I cant go out, sorry, can’t go Lima tonight (??) is my dad’s birthday today, cool <=(old man in spanish) cool old man (basically he said the same thing twice) How hard was it to just say this? took me less than a minute.
“Am on fire man just won one more game. 11-4 now we r 3-3… but am so tire right now is not even funy”
-I’m on fire, man we just won one more game, 11-4 now we are 3-3…But I’m so tired right now, it’s not even funny
This one wasnt so bad actually. I thought it was funny, cause he said he was a “tire” 😀 I’m assuming the whole thing was about a soccer game.

“Firts time in my life that I gonna play soccer drunk… and is our play off jaja will see how that goes… wish me luck y luego al clud to dance”
-First time in my life I’m going to play soccer drunk, and is our play off, haha. We’ll see how that goes, wish me luck, then to the club to dance.
The only nitpick I have here is ‘clud’ (club) and the fact that he actually clicked on the “I like this” button of his own status on Facebook.

“No trabajo 2morrow…cause 2night am going out dance and drinks… can’t wait to get off work… weapa.. papa oy ay chupe esta noche si se how is”
-I dont work tomorrow, cause tonight I’m going out to dance and drink. Cant wait to get off work. today there’s drinking yes I know how (?!?)
Yea, this one…I’m not really sure whats up with it.
Now this one’s a killer:

“Awesome out work… getting my vadka, take a nap… y a joder mas noche…”
-Awesome work-out, getting my vodka, taking a nap, and then fuck around later tonight.
I think what really got me on this one was the whole “out-work” replacing ‘work-out’.
‘Hey man, what are you doing?’
‘Oh nothing, just out-working a bit’
Yea, doesnt really ‘work out’ much, does it?
After that, someone else asked “were you…uh, ‘working out’?”

His response:

“Dang. Na u too… hell waz 2day whatever is going on”
Yea…I dont have anything clever enough for this.
Thats it for now, more on this phenomenon later.