Balloon boy: hot, fresh, and chic

I’m proud to bring you another fabulous rant 😀

We all know how the story goes, on Thursday authorities reported that an experimental helium balloon was set adrift with a 6-year-old apparently riding in it.

Richard Heene, a meteorologist and former television weatherman who has submitted to CNN iReports accounts of his sons helping him chase Hurricane Gustav, among other contributions, is the father of said 6-year-old.

His brother had said he watched Falcon (the boy, who the hell names a boy Falcon O_o…) get into the balloon before he untied the tethers, setting it free. Heene later said Falcon was videotaped getting into the vessel by his brother, but “obviously he got out.”

Obviously.

Rescuers from several counties followed the saucer-like vessel until it made a soft landing some 90 miles away. Officials rushed to the scene of the landing, smacking the metallic balloon until it deflated. They looked inside — no Falcon. At that point, there were two possibilities: Either Falcon never got in the balloon, or he fell out.

After scouring northern Colorado by foot and air, frantically chasing a Mylar balloon for miles and repeatedly interviewing his big brother, authorities ended the search for 6-year-old Falcon Heene where it began — at his house.

ORLY?

He was in a box. In the attic. The whole ****ing time.

“I played with my toys and took a nap,” Falcon told a group of reporters outside his home Thursday afternoon.

Ain’t that cute? >:3

This smells, tastes, and feels like a big hoax, so it MUST be a hoax…it’s not the first time somebody tries to use his own child to promote some weird $hit….

During a subsequent CNN interview with the family, Falcon was asked by his father Richard why he did not come out of the attic despite his parents repeatedly calling his name.

Falcon appears to answer: “You guys said that … we did this for the show.”

CNN interviewer Wolf Blitzer later asked Richard Heene what his son had meant.

After a long delay, Mr Heene replied: “I can see the direction you guys are hedging on this,” he said.

“I’m kind of appalled after all the feelings that I went through …

that you guys are trying to suggest something else.”

He further explained that Falcon’s use of the word “show” was some reference to the family’s appearance on ABC’s Wife Swap program.

Despite Mr Heene’s denial, Falcon’s comment set the internet ablaze with speculation that the entire episode was a hoax.

It’s obvious, the guy wanted attention and he got it, although the kid seems to be having “some issues.”

His parents have continued to place him in front of TV cameras.

During a TV segment on “Good Morning America”  the boy, wrapped in a gray fleece sweatshirt, looked exhausted.

“Falcon, you OK there?” asked concerned anchor Diane Sawyer.

“No. Mom, I feel like I’m going to vomit,” Falcon replied.

And vomit he did, and he did it like a champ! And on camera, like a celebrity 😉

Child and developmental psychology experts warn that too much media exposure can be harmful. They worry that the spotlight could skew the child’s sense of self-identity and negatively affect his or her development.

The father doesn’t seem to mind though.

So what’s next, a movie? A tv series? A videogame? Oh wait…

How many $$$ of tax payer money can you waste?

Fly to great heights evading all efforts to capture you and maximizing global money and hours wasted.

There’s nothing like having the pleasure of turning your own child into a circus freak for the whole world to make fun of. This guy should be proud, not only did he waste time, money, and the effort of emergency authorities on an obviously FAKE case, but he’s using his son to appear on tv shows, I just hope the kid can handle it….

Sources: THE TUBES (CNN, Telegraph.co.uk, google….)